For much of the past year I've thought about moving, getting away, starting over. Now, things are in the works to do just that and I feel relief, sadness, apprehension, and excitement all at once. I know that moving is the right thing to do. Aside from the wonderful friends I have made here, there is only one reason to stay and so many reasons to leave. It will break my heart to move Sidney away from her father, but I keep reminding myself that breaking up my family was not my decision. I am simply making the best of my life with what I've been given.
This has been a difficult week for me. There is now a For Sale sign in front of my community, there is a bag of shoe booties inside my front door, and there is a sign reminding people to close the door to keep the cat inside. I had two Realtor open houses this week and Sunday is the first public open house. I feel violated having strangers walking through my home, and I am, once again, reminded that everything going on in my life is happening because of someone else's choices and decisions.
I know I am doing the right thing. There is a better life waiting for me elsewhere. I moved to California with my husband looking for a better life, found one, and then had it taken away. It's time to try again, but this time I'm playing by my own rules. I am going to surround myself with family. A family I love. A family I trust. A family I can count on.
It will be difficult to leave this house that I love - the house in which I thought I would raise my daughter. But, hopefully, I will soon be packing my things and Sidney's and heading East on I-40. Next stop: Albuquerque.
Stay tuned...
No comments:
Post a Comment