After today, I will have three weeks of work left here in California. This morning, I was looking out the office window at the beautiful mountains north of L.A. and realized how much I will miss that view. It's especially lovely today - no smog, snow on Mount Baldy, and a clear view of the Hollywood sign and downtown L.A. You may have heard me say that I can take or leave L.A., but I love California. I have really grown attached over the past seven plus years and I know I will miss it terribly. There are amazing places within a day's drive of here and I didn't get to visit as many as I would have liked.
For some reason, though, I don't feel as sad as I thought I would. Perhaps it's because it hasn't hit me yet, or, hopefully, it is because I am very comfortable with my decision to leave. In addition, I have recently realized how lucky I am. No, not because I had divorce thrown at me like a Randy Johnson fastball, but because I am more prepared for this than some people are. I'm not a woman who has been solely dependent on her husband. I have a college education, I have a great job, and I have a substantial support system of family and friends. Each of these things is coming with me. Some people lose a great deal more in divorces.
But I am making some trades. I am trading California for New Mexico. I am trading my 5th floor office with a view for another 5th floor office with a view. I am trading the Santa Monica and San Gabriel mountains for the Sandias and Manzanos. I am trading my house for rooming with Aunt Janet and Uncle Joe. And I am trading some very good friends for family. This is the toughest trade of all - the perfect definition of bittersweet.
Will it be tough to walk out of my office on December 17? Yes. Will it break my heart to walk out of my house on December 21? Yes. Will I cry saying goodbye to my friends? Absolutely. But it will feel so good to hit the road with Sidney and my parents and head East to my new home and a new life.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
What a difference a month makes
Reading my last post from October 10, I realize just how much has happened in a few short weeks. Back then, I was depressed about selling my house and nervous about moving without a job. I knew the time was right for a change, though. I have had almost a year to decide what to do for me and Sidney, and I had never wanted to make a snap decision.
I was very upset when I put my house on the market, but that turned out to be a major turning point. Everything started to come together after that. I had offers on the house within a week and an accepted offer within three. It's not a completely done deal yet, but it looks good. Then, with the help of some very supportive management, I was given an opportunity to keep my job and work from my company's offices in Albuquerque. I can't quite explain how I felt when that was offered to me. I felt like crying in my director's office right then and there. To be able to move with a job is one thing, but to keep the one I am familiar with is quite a gift indeed.
One thing the past year has taught me is that I have so many people in my life who love me and care about me. I don't know what I would have done without my mom and dad to call whenever I need them. Aunt Janet and Uncle Joe have offered their home to me and Sid while we get settled in Albuquerque, and they've even offered to babysit! (Is it possible that I'll finally be able to go out for dinner to a place that doesn't have highchairs?) My managers at work did not want to lose me and made this job transfer a reality. I've had people all over the country praying for us or sending positive thoughts across the miles. I even had a women's prayer group in Connecticut supporting us!
So, with all that in place I can concentrate on my future. I am butterflies-in-my-tummy excited about living near family. Sidney will get to grow up with some of her cousins, and so will I!! To top it off, Albuquerque is such a beautiful place. I have always enjoyed visiting, and can hardly believe I'll be living there in just over a month. I am excited about all the things me and Sidney will do there, and I'm looking forward to making a new home for us.
There is a lot to do between now and then, but it all seems so easy now. I have always held stress in my shoulders, and for the past several months I have felt like my shoulders were up near my ears with tightness. I noticed this morning with a smile that the tightness is gone. For the first time in almost a year, I feel like my compass is working again. I know where I am and I know where I am going and I know it is right.
I was very upset when I put my house on the market, but that turned out to be a major turning point. Everything started to come together after that. I had offers on the house within a week and an accepted offer within three. It's not a completely done deal yet, but it looks good. Then, with the help of some very supportive management, I was given an opportunity to keep my job and work from my company's offices in Albuquerque. I can't quite explain how I felt when that was offered to me. I felt like crying in my director's office right then and there. To be able to move with a job is one thing, but to keep the one I am familiar with is quite a gift indeed.
One thing the past year has taught me is that I have so many people in my life who love me and care about me. I don't know what I would have done without my mom and dad to call whenever I need them. Aunt Janet and Uncle Joe have offered their home to me and Sid while we get settled in Albuquerque, and they've even offered to babysit! (Is it possible that I'll finally be able to go out for dinner to a place that doesn't have highchairs?) My managers at work did not want to lose me and made this job transfer a reality. I've had people all over the country praying for us or sending positive thoughts across the miles. I even had a women's prayer group in Connecticut supporting us!
So, with all that in place I can concentrate on my future. I am butterflies-in-my-tummy excited about living near family. Sidney will get to grow up with some of her cousins, and so will I!! To top it off, Albuquerque is such a beautiful place. I have always enjoyed visiting, and can hardly believe I'll be living there in just over a month. I am excited about all the things me and Sidney will do there, and I'm looking forward to making a new home for us.
There is a lot to do between now and then, but it all seems so easy now. I have always held stress in my shoulders, and for the past several months I have felt like my shoulders were up near my ears with tightness. I noticed this morning with a smile that the tightness is gone. For the first time in almost a year, I feel like my compass is working again. I know where I am and I know where I am going and I know it is right.
Hi, I'm 14 months old!
Within the past month, Sidney has gone from wobbly steps to practically running around. It's all happening so fast, but everyone says that. She's also saying some words: apple, ball, bath, up, uh-oh, and a few others. This is getting more and more fun everyday!!
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